Life

Ok. I want to write through some thoughts I've been having, and also invite you into my life a little more.

One of my dearest friends called me this morning. We had hung out previously the night before for dinner, which is a common thing for us. We have known each other about 2 1/2 years and our friendship has been life-giving in every way.

Seeing her call me this early in the morning can either mean 1 of 3 things usually. She had a dream or thought she wanted to share or pray through, 2, something to share to make me laugh so hard I would pee my pants, or 3, something was 'amiss'.  Needless to say, I answered quickly.

What she shared with me I have to admit, caught me completely off guard.

I mentioned we had hung out the night before. During some 'banter', teasing, and laughing, I had unknowingly spoke something that did not settle. I had truly meant for it to be a joke, but instead, my words had caused her hurt. She, being the woman she is, had tried to forget and pray through it through out the night. She knows me. She knows I don't intentionally hurt people and she knows our relationship is built with life and our Father in the middle. So for her to feel unsettled that long caused her to dial me this morning and tearfully share her heart with me.

My words had hurt. She wanted to be sure there wasn't a 'root' as we call them. You know, when someone says they are joking, but actually is a sneaky way of telling the truth about how you really feel to someone you don't have the guts to say to their face.

I have to be honest. At first, I was a little upset. Why would she ever think I would ever say something to hurt her? Couldn't she tell it was a joke? Then the Holy Spirit kicked me in the butt and I stopped thinking and started listening. As soon as I put my own dumb self aside, I could 'hear' her. My words were stupid. I shouldn't have said them. I got caught up in the moment and wanted to be funny. In the process, I had fired little arrows.

I'm sharing this because this is a part of life and its something we all do so easily.

I also want to share this as how to 'walk' with friends and the correct way to walk in life with conflict. She put herself on the line and called me the second she woke this morning so it would not linger. She didn't call another friend to 'talk' through it and smear my character and name through the mud. She talked it through with her Father first. Then she called me right away, before the day got away and bitterness started to settle in with her. This is one of things I admire most about her and our friendship. We go to the source first. I never have to worry about gossip or slander. I know what is spoken between us always stays with us.

This is how friendship should be with each other. If you have a problem or thought of a problem, even a doubt, talk to your Father first. He will tell you if its you or something you need to discuss with that person. Please stop 'asking prayer' with a friend as a way to gossip in Christianese. That does not spark growth for anyone. It is a disease that spreads quickly and effectively like wild fire in the Christian Community, especially amongst women.

This leads me to ask this question.

Why do we as women do this to each other? As if life isn't hard enough with kids, husbands, work, family, ect. We need community. Safe community. We need life. We need safety with each other. Stop hopping around between friends for the one to give you the advice you 'want to hear' and start seeking wise and safe council.

Prov.11:14 (msg) 'Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.' 12. 'Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense.'

Sadly, I myself have been involved far too many times with people that do not spark life and growth and I am far from being perfect on this matter. Gossip in any form is fun for a while, and it can make you feel better about yourself and that your life is somehow better than that poor unfortunate soul. Trust me when I say this. Its not worth it.

Life is too short. Stay rooted in your Father and speak life to one another. We are all fighting hard battles everyday. We need all the help we can get. We are on the same team. Lets act like it and start focusing on the things the devil doesn't want us to see.

Sounds way more fun to me.

I apologized right away and asked forgiveness for my dumb words. She was quick to forgive and always is because we know each other and where our identity lies. Now we move on. We don't linger in 'the yucky place'.

We accept forgiveness, we learn from our mistakes, and we enjoy the rest of our day.